Is Your Ego Driving Your Communication?

Why do people have big egos? Why does the world need to seek attention and validation for everything that happens? Well, the psychology behind seeking validation dates back centuries to a theory known as Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Maslow proved that a core component of human motivation the desire to feed our egos is more accessible and easier than ever. Think about it. Facebook has the “like” thumb, people post photos and statuses hoping to feel “accepted” or “appreciated” for our efforts. And when those positive comments start rolling in, we feel validated. Then, we want more attention, validation, acceptance, and affirmation. Is it feeding your ego? Probably. But the better question is, is your ego driving how you communicate with others?

In a popular Forbes article, Cy Wakeman wrote that the ego operates out of self-interest; It seeks approval, accolades and validation at all costs in order to be seen as “right”. So, if being seen as “right” all the time is important to me… how then, are my messages being communicated? A self-righteous attitude can cause you to send messages that say, “I’m right, you’re wrong,” or the ever-popular, “my way or the high-way.” Such an egocentric perspective can hinder you from being open to learning new things or seeing other points of view. Then, it’s only a matter of time before your audience decides you’re not worth listening to and focuses their attention elsewhere.

So, if you’re struggling to determine if your ego needs an adjustment, below are a few guiding points :

1. Don’t ever think you know it all, because you don’t. There is and will always be someone that knows more than you. Never stop learning or having the desire to learn.
2. Don’t ever think you’re above hard work, because you’re not. Truth is, perfection doesn’t exist. No matter how good you think you are, you can always work a little harder to get a little further.
3. Don’t ever think you’re better than others, because you’re not. There are 7.7 billion people on earth. While you may be awesome, there are also billions of other awesome people that are on the same success-seeking journey you’re on.

So, as the saying goes… “check your ego at the door,” and watch how much more effective you can become in your communication.

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